you are beautiful beneath my fingertips, around my body, against my skin during those off-kilter moments when your mind is probably a world away but next to you my heart is pounding.

i feel like a third grade kid at her birthday party when i look at you. and i want time to solidify like glass windows and trickle down slowly, minutely. it makes my vena cava knot itself into a noose. i know that i could never have you forever. so for the moment, as my face tries to find a home against your shoulderblades and my fingers clutch at yours' like a child, i imagine putting on my birthday girl tiara and seeing everyone throw balloons and streamers. you're my day of celebration, the moment that makes me grateful for being alive.

here in this bed, my heart is swelling past my rib cage.

if i had the power to make people feel this way about me, i'd be immortal too.