and i think- just for a split second- that i would wait for him in every airport for every year just to see him smiling at me from the other side of the glass. he is so beautiful to me in this heartbeat's space of time- this tiny pause between valves closing and breath catching, creating a freeze frame of suspended hope. and i forget for a moment that i'm nervous and uncomfortable in these stupid plastic yellow flats, ludicrous and slippery on frozen winter sidewalks. i forget that i am always so awkward and graceless and second-guessing every movement. all i know in this moment is this unexpected capture, this instance my brain casts memories in amber glass, frozen forever in warm light. and this feeling- this feeling i have always lived with- that i will carry this snapshot in time for the rest of my life.